Lately, I realized that I’m not living in the present. I feel frustrated about so many things in my life. Comparing the things now from how it used to before. Frustrations about the past and too many expectations about the future can do more harm than good to us. We are unable to truly live and appreciate the good things happening to us in the present. We are unable to sit calmly, and our mind is clouded by what-ifs and what should be done in the future and doing it in a very unfriendly way. How to live in the present can be summarized by the three main actions and realizations below:

Forgive yourself

Sometimes we make things complicated. We become our harsh judge, maybe because of pressure to always look and do well in front of other people. It is a sad truth, but not everyone will wish you well in this life. And perhaps that’s one of the pressures that drive us to feel inadequate in case we fall back behind in life than other people. But why not focus on the ones that genuinely love you-your family, your real friends, and yourself. Befriend yourself, and you will be happy- try your best not to say hurtful things to yourself. Forgiving yourself might be the best advice I can give you and myself about holding on to the past and living away from the present. Forgiving yourself means removing from yourself the pressure to be the best. You might be a step behind others because of the bad decisions you’ve made, but that doesn’t mean that you will stay here to suffer forever. Look at the mirror and say, I forgive you. Let it all go and accept you are not perfect, but you have your strengths, and you have a beautiful soul.

Define Your Success

And I mean it like- do not let other people’s standards affect you in this decision. If we genuinely want to be happy and live in the present, we should stop allowing other people-family, friends, or lovers to define what is a success for us. I suffered a great deal with this thinking way back before. I was shut inside a box, thinking that getting a particular license is the only ticket to be well off in this life. And that is because I have let my family define that for me. For years, I felt unhappy until I realized that I should be the one to set my success, and that is where the real magic begins- the day you define your success, and you work for it. I firmly believe that we always have a choice in this life that no matter what we do and no matter what the differences in our abilities or skills are, we have something we are good at. We have something we wanted to be good at, and we have something we can call OUR OWN.

Stop Obsessing About the Future

This might be the most obvious thing among the things I have discussed, but it is a challenge for the negative thinkers and controlling persons. So much focus and fear of the future tend to snatch us away from the present. And since we have a desire to manage even the things, we have no control of, we became harsh on ourselves and let us stay away from the present. We have the habit of worrying too much about our future, and this is harmful not only for us, but also for our relationships.

To live in the present means that we can befriend our past for our mistakes, we are able to define our success or happiness, and trust our futures while working hard for it. The power of being in the present allows us to be calm and peaceful at our current situation while we acknowledged and learned from our mistakes, and that is one way to enjoy the colors of life and to let out genuine laughter.

 Be happy. Be in the present.  Love,


  1. Hi Abby! This is a good article. We live in an era where success is being bounded by titles, trophies, and all the lavish things one can wear. Maybe those things add up to our worries when we feel we don’t have one to add to our own. Thank you for reminding me that success is not about other people. It is about you, about me, about ourselves. We can only define how successful we are based on our own defition and we can be that person once we know how to live in the present. ❤😘

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