Being calm, for me, is the most powerful tool for anyone to have to put things in perspective, especially at times when things are going roughly for us. Being calm is the ability to sort things out and the ability to believe that what is happening right now is not our destination. To be calm, we need to recognize and practice the following suggestions that we can use in the face of whatever difficulties:

Stress varies from person to person, what may be stressful for someone may not be that stressful to someone else, but no matter how we define or explain this one problematic word, it only boils down to a common denominator which is a feeling of restlessness, disappointments, frustrations and sometimes even failures. While it is true that not every good thing that we want to happen may happen, still we have control of how we are going to accept the current situations we are in and stay calm.

If you have no control over it, don’t let it mess your head

We need to admit that some things and events are beyond our control, and one effective way to be calm is to recognize the difference between those we can control and those we cannot. One small example is that, when I’m traveling to do my audit jobs, and I see how bad the traffic is, I start to be anxious for the time I’m about to waste while being in that traffic- which is something I have no control. One thing I can control, however, is to wake up, prepare, and travel early to avoid that traffic somehow.

One question I ask myself when I’m in a problematic situation is that, “What will my anxiousness do to me? Can it change the current situation I’m in?” and most probably, the answer is no. Because the situations I have now are the result of my past actions, and unless I can travel back in time to change something, the answer will remain NO. The best thing we can do about it is just merely learning from it.

There are lots of more important things that are messing our head- be it in finances, relationships, security, and others. And I want you to have a mental inventory of the things that mess with your brain and identify which of these you have little or no control of and see what you can learn from it. Then Let it go and move on. As for the things you can learn, embrace it, and do good next time 😊.

Recognize and appreciate what makes you feel happy and powerful.

 In simple terms, “Gratitude.” I cannot express how much practicing gratitude helped my once negative thinking to shift to a more positive mindset. Because when we feel like nothing is going right, it is an almost automatic decision to stare at the dark side of our lives, which results in seeing the worst of everything. I have been through a lot, too, and believe me when I say- there is always something to be grateful. Being thankful even for small silly things have a powerful effect that makes our heavy hearts lighter.

See the things, events, and people that make us happy and powerful. Turn on and listen to your favorite feel-good music and be grateful for this and all the things that make you feel colorful.

Whisper to your soul, “This is just temporary, we will get through it.” 

Think about the past for a bit and see how bad things happened and how you adapted to it. Some bad stuff from the past don’t even matter now, right? Or some bad things have led you to a better destination. The key here is to trust the beauty of the future, no matter how unnatural your present may be.

The word here trust, however, doesn’t mean that you will avoid living in the present and choose to live only in your imagination of a perfect future. Remember that the past shapes the present, so the present will also shape our future. Just have a mindset that is more focused and hopeful of beautiful things rather than a mindset that focuses on depressing temporary things happening to you right now.

 I guarantee you everything will be good again.

If we can put it, being calm is the mindset where we learn the past, accept, and do good in the present and be wiser in the future. Being relaxed in any depressing situation is such a helpful shield in everything that life throws at us. We will be able to rest quietly at night, and our minds will always be ready to receive the blessings that are waiting for us.

Be happy. Be calm. Love,


  1. Hi Abby! I have to practice this. My temper is like a volcano ready to erupt everytime I am being triggered. At my age I stopped worrying what other people will think of me, so I careless whenever I blurted out or react to some things so badly. However, it made me feel bad since I feel that I should’ve done better and I can’t take away what has been said and done. I can only do better next time. Keep on writing! ❤😘

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